Does My Ex Still Love Me Quiz

Does My Ex Still Love Me Quiz

Commentary: These flowers smell just awful... I hate them so much!

In times of doubt, of desperation, of despair, we find ourselves needing to take a Does My Ex Still Love Me Quiz. Thankfully, top men in the field of Love have compiled a list of questions to serve just that purpose.

Question #1: Is your ex still alive?

Question #2: Did your ex ever love you to begin with?

Question #3: Since your breakup, has your ex renounced your gender as unworthy in a romantic sense?

Question #4: Has your ex tried to kill you, or hired someone to perform the task?

Question #5: Has your ex joined a cult, or become a nun, monk, or something similar?

Question #6: Has your ex lost the capacity to love, either through brain trauma or entry into a coma?

Question #7: Has your ex gotten married and had children with a new love interest?

Question #8: Has your ex left the country for parts unknown?

Question #9: Has your ex been locked in a mental ward?

And now, the final question in the Does My Ex Still Love Me Quiz:

Question #10: Has your ex filed for a restraining order against you?

If you answered "No" to all of the previous questions, then there is hope that your ex still loves you.

Many people take these things seriously at first, but once they've taken The Quiz, their sincerity seems to reduce itself to a sort of casual state. They may say things like, "Sure, my ex could still have feelings for me, but I don't know..."

A few of the many issues to consider when brainstorming a course of action following The Quiz are the matters of timing, your own personal development, and how badly you want to get back together.

Timing - Are you ready for another shot at love? Is your ex? Just what time is it?

Personal Development - Have you solved the problems that originally caused the end of your relationship? Can you prevent yourself from passing gas so readily in bed from now on?

Desire to Reconcile - Do you still love your ex? Now there's a question. Sure, you might still have positive feelings there, but how about negative ones? Do you feel you deserve some sort of retribution for the heart-wrenching anguish your ex put you through? Do you think your ex can just be let off the hook, after you spent day after day vomiting out of pure agony? Or maybe it was from that food you got from the street vendor. But that's not the point! The heart of the matter is, can you put the past behind you, and look to the future?

If so, then I, Cosmic Ray Chapman, the Weightlifting Priest, say "Go For It!"