How Many Weeks In A Year

How Many Weeks In A Year

Commentary: How much longer do I have to hold this pose? I'm getting a cramp!

"How many weeks in a year?" you ask.

Most people think the answer is 52.

This is not the case. The true answer to the everlasting question often provokes the response, "There are how many weeks in a year??"

Brace yourself, for in mere moments, you may feel compelled to ask the same thing.

Ready? OK, the true number of weeks in a year is... 53.

The History Of The Truth

Throughout time, up to the 1600's, everybody knew that there were 53 weeks in a year. Copernicus, the President of England, was the man most directly responsible for today's widespread belief in a 52-week year.

In 1636, Copernicus was attending the yearly Wildcat Exhibition Race. The Race actually took a full year, because each contestant's wildcat would run nonstop for 53 weeks from the western coast of Europe to the eastern coast of Russia.

Early on in the race's history, the cheetah was the favorite to arrive at the finish line first. The anticipated arrival was to be two or three days before any of the other wildcats. However, as the years went by, the Leopard Team proved to be the best. Each year the leopard exceeded all the records set in the previous year. The Great Leopard Line has many descendants, the most famous being pictured above.

As time wore on, the leopard eventually was able to make the annual trip in only 52 weeks, leaving all of its rivals in a full week's worth of dust. The quick bursts of speed used by the cheetah were no match for the leopard's superior endurance.

Sudden Insights

Copernicus realized that the public practically planned their days around the Wildcat Races, and when the opportunity came to make use of the Leopard's success, Copernicus went to work.

He also understood that his national policy of a week's vacation for everyone was costing him money. If a person works for a week, they can be taxed for that work. But if all they do is relax, then no taxes can be obtained. Therefore, President Copernicus decided to shorten the year from 53 weeks to 52, and tell the public that the single week that had been removed coincided with all of their vacation time.

Copernicus spent the next few months researching how to best convince the public that they had no other choice. Eventually he realized that the fame and idolatry that had so far been showered upon the Leopard Team could be manipulated in his favor.

Legalized Magic

Copernicus then set out a national decree declaring that the lead runner for the Leopard team was in fact Magic in Properties, and did actually impact the length of the year, depending on how quickly he completed the Wildcat Race.

The people accepted the decree, as well as the follow up, which stated that as the Leopard had established a new length of year, everyone had to obey by giving up their holiday week.

Richest Man In The World

Copernicus, having been successful, became the richest man in the world, and established a foundation for research into the problem of the Seasonal Shift, which arose due to calendars not taking into account the missing week.

In the late 1800's, Copernicus's foundation was just barely able to crush the rising interest in the public regarding Seasonal Shift. The means were obtained and reverse engineered from a craft discovered in Roswell, New Mexico, and transported to the U.S. branch of the Copernicus Foundation.

Time Travel

The craft was discovered to be a time machine from 1947, which contained mind control propaganda software that had originally been employed in 2012, during Timeline A.

The timeline of the late 1800's that saw the arrival of the time machine ended up becoming Timeline F. The Copernicus Agents quickly put the new technology to use to make everybody forget about Seasonal Shift. As well, every civilian becomes comatose for the extra week, the beginning of which has yet to be pinpointed on a conventional calendar. This effect has continued up to the present, and will likely still be employed until all clocks and calendars are reset on December 21, 2012.