You Tubw

You Tubw

Commentary: Hey kids, I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!

A Brief History of You Tubw

In 2003, when the Antichrist rose to power, he teamed with the Antipope and Bill Gates in order to sweep the world off its feet with mind control. Known as AC to those closest to him, the Antichrist wanted to develop something using the rapidly expanding horizons of the internet. The solution eluded him.

But not for long.

In 2005, a YouTube.com was launched. It quickly proved to be a major success, and as more and more people logged on to share and watch movie clips, AC's people realized that YouTube might have the answer.

AC put in a bid, but was beaten by Google, who acquired YouTube for 100 Trillion Dollars. In 2008, the deal was renegotiated for some reason, and the sum eventually changed currency to Euros.

Just after the defeat by the hands of Google, Antichrist Limited, AC's firm, acquired the intelligence that a great many people type in their Computer Terminal Commands, or CTCs, in a quick and dirt fashion. Thus, attempting to type in "y-o-u-t-u-b-e" often results in "y-o-u-t-u-b-w," because the W key is adjacent to the E key.

After many long hours of explanation, AC finally understood what needed to be done. He had his team register the domain YouTubw.com.

Inner Workings of You Tubw

At first glance, the You Tubw site appears to be a parked page, simply up to capitalize on typo traffic. The logic is that a casual visitor is supposed to click an ad disguised as a legitimate link, earning the domain owner (as well as the domain parking company) a small fee. Conventional knowledge says this benefits the owner, because those clicks ad up.

But this is not the case.

While the typical surfer can visit YouTubw.com and click an ad, there is also a powerful, hidden purpose behind YouTubw.com.

Once you visit it, you are infected with an advanced form of Remote Mind Control.

A typical web page uses plenty of White Space, to keep things looking neat. Ideally, these areas of a page go unused. However, at YouTubw.com, the white space is almost entirely used to send invisible, coherent waves through the computer's monitor, and directly into a web surfer's brain.

Once the properly configured light enters your mind, it rewires an unused portion of your Grey Matter. After this point, every one you physically contact receives a small jolt of Electric Nerve Energy, which sends a highly detailed signal to their brains, causing the same form of rewiring infection.

Back in the '60's and '70's, various hippies foresaw a sinister plot to take control by increasing the level of Bad Vibes in society. YouTubw was designed specifically to do that.

Bruce Campbell unfortunately was the first test subject AC requisitioned for YouTubw, and as the technology had yet to be completely refined, Campbell completely lost his mind. He now does cereal commercials.

The YouTubw effect is not simply to replicate among a populous, but to also impact behavior. Every single person affected becomes less of an optimist at the moment of YouTubw contact. This in turn leads to negative thinking, negative decisions, and negative behavior. These actions on an individual level may not seem overly consequential, but they do add up.

As of March 5, 2008, approximately 180,000 U.S. citizens have contracted YouTubw Syndrome.

The problems that seem to be building up in the world are not a result of natural processes. Rather, they are the work of the Antichrist, and his will as carried out through the YouTubw Infected.

As of now, there is no cure. So whatever you do, don't visit YouTubw.com.